Saturday, 6 September 2008

天阴阴,雨霏霏,水潺潺。
心慌慌,泪汪汪,鼻酸酸。

水滴何时止,心忧何时休。

6 comments:

puppy said...

last sentence
i dont like the 'di1', prefer 'lou4'
i dont like 'he2 shi2' repeated twice
i dont hv any preference now :P
u think lah

LeaF芳 said...

puppy
thx for ur comment.

anyway rain is counted by drops(滴)
this is why i choose 水滴(drops of water)。

and

repetition of using 何时 is to emphasize the restlessness towards
rainy season and endless worries.

puppy said...

how could 'di1' tally with 'you1' in this case? shouldnt they be adjective?

i dont feel the emphasis with the 2 repetation :P

LeaF芳 said...

since you are not facing the same situation with me of course u wont feel it.

if im writing poetry according to tang dynasty or song dynasty periods then is a must for me to follow their metrical pattern and antithesis.

im just writing my feelings out, and this is not a poetry. Thus, no rules attach.

puppy said...

if this is not a poetry
what is it?

no one is right
and ono one is wrong
no rule
but there is a guide

i merely suggest something
u can either take it or leave it

we cross sword
we shake hand

LeaF芳 said...

puppy

thanks for ur reply
i couldn't disagree with u
as in ur first and second comments,u mention that my words doesn't tally, doesn't like the repetition,
so i take it and explained to you the reason why i do so in good intention.

this is not a poetry but a blog entry and the way i normally use to express my feeling.

we share opinions
and we shake hands
but never cross sword

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